Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Trials of the teeny-tiny Nano

I love going to the gym because I always witness messed up things. I don't even have to make up something like "my ex-boyfriend was working out next to me and he's so dumb" kinds of stories because I always witness messed up things that are always comedy gold. Just last night at the gym, I witnessed an event that makes me wonder if smaller tech-toys are necessarily better.

Technology is funky. I didn't think it was possible for iPods to get tinier, but they have. I remember last November when I got my new Shuffle, I bet some folks at a party to swallow it-- just because they could. It seemed that small! I also never thought I'd see the day when my 3rd generation 10Gb iPod was considered a clunky, antiquated brick. But now it is.

Last night I was on the elliptical trainer at the gym when this couple who was making out right in front of me decided to actually get their tongues out of each others' mouths and get their asses on the nearby row of treadmills. After walking for maybe 30 seconds, the makeout girl jumps off the treadmill and starts frantically searching around for something. I noticed her headphone cord just dangling there without an electronic device, and I figured she must have flipped it out of her pocket and it was probably somewhere around her makeout, err, workout space.

After poking around for a few minutes in all the nearby equipment, the couple decided to take some action and grab the ever-helpful "gonna sign you up for a gym membership" guys. He waddled over to the treadmill, lifted it up to have a look-see underneath, then set it back down. Thorough assessment.

The membership guy left to go and get the parking lot greeter guy while the couple started kissing again and I thought to myself, "Wow, I've been watching this for twenty minutes now!" After a few more minutes, parking lot greeter guy waddled over to the treadmill, lifted it up to have a look-see underneath, then set it back down. Thorough assessment. He left to get a screwdriver while the couple, you guessed it, started kissing again.

It was at this point that the look of disgust crept over my face as I stared at the kissing couple with contempt. I hate public displays of affection anyway, sweaty public displays of affection are just wrong-- me sweaty, them sweaty, the guy next to me sweaty, whatever-- it's all wrong. Though nearly 40 minutes had passed and my workout was almost finished, there was no way I was going to miss the outcome to this twisted tale of teeny technology (nor the great alliteration). Parking lot greeter returned and had to completely disassemble the treadmill. He took the entire front portion off, plus he had to lift up the belt to look inside where, lo and behold, sat the makeout girl's Nano.

Makeout girl had made the one in a million shot to successfully sink her iPod puck right into that itty bitty slot in the front of the treadmill where the belt goes in. Amazing. Some hockey players should be so lucky. There's no way it could ever happen again. Of course, the celebratory couple kissed, then decided they'd be better off taking their workout home and they left. Thank goodness they did, I had been going at "plaid speed" on my elliptical for nearly an hour and thought I was going to have a heart attack trying to run and not laugh at the whole weird scene.

I'll say it again: Technology. Funky. Sometimes makes me wish for a mammoth brick "Zach phone" like on Saved by the Bell.