Wednesday, November 07, 2007

It's so simple!

Wow! I had no idea it would be so easy to meet a man. Here I thought that being single meant putting myself out there, trying to meet and connect with somebody. But no! It's as simple as a random email from some source called "StillSingle" sending me an email telling me to click the link "for a free match-- FREE!" A spam email, no less! How did it know? How am I so lucky to meet the man of my dreams just by clicking the link? Amazing.


I hate spam, it always makes me feel so violated-- and I'm talking about the unsolicited email, not the stuff Monty Python sings about. That would just be gross, being violated by a meat-like substance.

In honor of SPAM, the meat-like substance, here are some little-known nutritional facts that made me actually gag and then head straight to the gym:

Ingredients
  • Chopped port shoulder meat with ham meat added
  • Salt (for binding, flavor and firmness-- firmness?)
  • Water (to help in mixing)
  • Sugar (for flavor)
  • Sodium Nitrite (for color and as a preservative)
Calories per serving are 170, and there are theoretically six servings per can. Assuming you could choke down an entire can of this catfood-like crap, you'd consume a whopping 1,020 calories, or more than half the healthy daily-allotted calories of the average person. 

Or, only 200 calories short of your daily-allotted calories if you're me. 

3 comments:

kris said...

I don't know if it's a "feature" of Spam, but some meat-like substances (such as the Chicken McNugget) are made from "mechanically separated meat". The basic premise of mechanically separated meat is that you take all the stuff that's left over from processing an animal after the good cuts of meat are gone (you know: bones, tendons, tissue, etc.), and squish it through a sieve. Whatever comes out through the sieve is "meat".

Tasty.

JM Bell said...

I like Spam.

Fry it with eggs - good. Bread it and deep fry it - good. Throw it on the BBQ! grill with some pineapple - good.

It's an everywhere / anywhere meat food.

Holly said...

Kris: You're healthier than that... how do you know that?!? Just gross. Gross! I will forever now have the thought of various gristle getting pushed through a Play-Doh extruder toy.

JM: Doesn't surprise me. Now I'll have visions of you grilling up some gristle that just got pushed through a Play-Doh extruder toy.

"Meat Food." Icky.