Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Is this really an issue?

Must be "sweeps" month-- tonight on the news, "Sex in Utah Parks." Sex in Utah parks apparently occurs more than I'd ever noticed in my day, though right now in my life I'm still pretty sure I could fasten a grilled cheese sandwich to my crotch and walk past the homeless shelter without anyone getting hot for me. According to several articles, not even the prospect of police arrest deters these sexual deviants, forcing them to leave the security of the park bench and head to public restrooms within the same areas. So I'll be curious to see what impact this news story might have on such a thing.

Far be it from me to point out the obvious, but hasn't there always been sex in the park? I mean, figuratively speaking, for those popular kids in high school. Isn't that the basic premise of "parking" when horny teens want to get it on without their parents knowing? Of course, I never did this while in school because apparently headgear, glasses and band camp are not turn-ons to boys who wanted to engage in this sort of extra-curricular activity.

And have we defined parks? Is this all-inclusive? Water parks? National parks? Who hasn't gotten it on at Zion? What if you get it on while listening to Linkin Park? Does that count? If this is a problem, why is preserving open space the hip trend right now? Wouldn't we want less open space if it just perpetuates getting it on?

I guess I never realized this could be such hot topic news inspiration. Never mind there's an unresolved war in the Middle East or that MySpace bullying is causing 13-year-olds to hang themselves in their closets, there's "Sex in Utah Parks!" 


Glenn said...

Mmmm, grilled cheese!

It sounds like your school days were like mine, except I never had headgear (as evidenced by my crooked teeth), but glasses and band camp were my life.

Anonymous said...

There are signs in the restrooms at Sugar House Park warning of undercover police officers patrolling the area. I don't have a picture of that particular sign, but it's similar to this one in California:

I once tried to get it on in the back of Jeep in Willow Creek Park. But as it turned out, the backseat of a Jeep Cherokee, even with the seats folded flat, isn't all that big. (As evidenced by the female footprint on my back window).

Holly said...

Glenn: Even as an adult I remind myself, there's nothing wrong with band camp.

Kris: The Jeep Cherokee? Willow Creek Park? Geeze our class had our high school reunion there. Wait, I knew you when you had that Jeep, I didn't know you were getting it on in the Jeep. That's weird to think about.

NinjasOfLoretto said...

i'm more "abandoned parking lots" than "parks"...maybe that's just because i don't like children very much though...

totally off topic holly...did you read the Sweet Valley High books when you were a tween? OMG! If you did, you have to check out this hilarious site that I found yesterday - the woman is freaking brilliant and hilarious. I'm going to do a blog post about it tomorrow, but thought I'd give you the early heads up. Word to the wise, only head over there if you are ready for a serious trip down memory lane, complete with horrible revelations!



Holly said...

LOVED the Sweet Valley Twins and LOVED that blog. I'm addicted...


NinjasOfLoretto said...

so glad you liked it...this was her line that hooked me for good:

"my main motivation for reading this one was: what is Cara's motivation for wearing that sailor suit".

i laughed so hard at that i almost got myself caught.