Oh thank heaven...

Tonight I had to stop by the old 7-11 to pick up some cheapie beer to take to a girl friend's porch party and of course, I got carded.

The attendant said to me, "1970s? You don't look that old!" Which I took sort of as a compliment (since my birthday is soon and I've felt a teensy bit sorry for myself this weekend), but just said, "Yep, it's a fun bet at parties." He said, "Well, you can drink a little, but just don't smoke one of those," as he pointed to one of the little fake silk roses next to the register. You know, the fake roses that are sold inside the little clear plastic tube with a cork in the top?

I said, "I shouldn't smoke fake silk roses?"

"No," he said, "the plastic tube." I gave him an odd look and said, "I don't think I'll be smoking a plastic tube anytime soon."

Then he got annoyed by my apparent naivety. "Are you serious? You mean, you don't know that people smoke crack out of those?"

"I won't be smoking any of that either," I said as I walked out of the store.

I find this conversation odd on many levels. 1) That my getting carded for beer and not looking "that old" would lead to the topic of crack smoking. 2) That he was so shocked that not everyone in the world was aware crack smokers use fake silk rose tubes as a crack pipe. 3) That he somehow must've thought I was a crack smoker to crack the crack joke in the first place.

It's amazing what you can randomly learn on a Saturday afternoon in Salt Lake City. Oh thank heaven for 7-11.