Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Sort of Dickensian



After being haunted today by ghosts of relationships past, two hauntings within six hours by people I still care about, I decided to head to the gym tonight for a good, old-fashioned treadmill-fest.

What actually transpired was that I ended up for beers at the bar next to the gym.

In my workout clothes.

And as I allowed myself a two Guinness maximum, while pondering life, the universe and everything, I marveled that I could at least see the gym from the bar where I was sitting. Swilling the heavenly, dark beer like it was going out of style.

I also marveled that when watching ESPN without sound, commercials take on a very different meaning. The "Axe Sensitive" shave cream commercial, to be specific. In this commercial, sporty-clothing-clad women are spraying each other with foam. Is there anything more blatantly sexual than sporty-clothing-clad women spraying each other with foam? And how does this relate to the common chore of men shaving? The women giggle, the women spray their foam, and then the commercial ends. I dare say that men I know would not stop to shave if they were faced with an arena of sporty-clothing-clad women shooting foam.

I turned my attention to a silent ending of the Rachel Maddow Show, and then the beginning of Hardball, where Chris Matthews was reviewing the making of Barak Obama's 500-pound inauguration Chicago cheesecake. Between the spraying foam, creamy cheesecake and sizable Guinness head, I continued to be confused by the days' events, and had to get out of my sportsbra.

I don't think I'll wear a sportsbra to the bar ever again.

9 comments:

Macallan said...

I am damn glad you are writing again!

Dave M said...

Does this mean you were at Fiddler's last night? I was totally at Fiddler's last night.

Holly said...

It's true. Were you wearing a sportsbra as well?

Jared said...

Ghosts of relationships past; I sympathize with you. Guiness? Any time with Guiness is a good time; even if you're getting forced to live life on life's terms. Wearling your sports bra to the bar must feel a lot like wearing a speedo to the grocery store..not that I'm speaking from experience or anything.

Holly said...

I feel that if you're drinking Guinness, it's okay to wear whatever you damn well please. Jared, have you worn a speedo to the grocery store? Come on. It's okay to share.

Jared Ferguson said...

No, but I have drank Guinenss (God, I missed the double n, DOH!) while in a Speedo.

Jared Ferguson said...

I cannot type today and no I have not been drinking.

Holly said...

You should drink, maybe you'll type better.

Jared Ferguson said...

Not on work days. (: I do actually play pool better after drinking. State-dependent learning; I only play pool when I drink.