Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Britney's Chaotic Crap

I found myself sitting home tonight, watching an episode of "Britney and Kevin: Chaotic" in its entirety. It's 30 minutes of my life I'll never get back. In fact, I'm not the only one who feels this way. My friend Deena texted me and said, "I will never watch this alone or sober again." It's amazing how one show has the potential to bring together the masses in one similar emotion-- we shall all never watch "Chaotic" alone OR sober again.

That said, I had a few ideas for a "Chaotic" drinking game, but decided to take a shot after every time Britney says something stupid or Kevin smokes a cigarette, would get people too drunk too quickly.

Instead, here are a few highlights for the lucky people who missed tonight's gripping episode.
1.) Britney told Kevin she loved him. she then played "hard to get" when Kevin didn't say it back, and Britney "built a wall." (Her words, not mine.)
2.) Britney took up kickboxing to channel her inner rage. She reveals to us she has "so much inner rage" she could "kick any boy's ass." Brilliant.
3.) Britney's pores were again large for the entire show. I spent a whole commercial break wondering if we should get Bioré to sponsor the show.
4.) We saw footage of Britney's Vienna, Austria concert. Big whoop. I prefered to see the footage that someone shot of a long-haired, cable-knit sweater-wearing street musician playing a violin. He was hot, and it briefly reminded me of a long-haired violist I used to date, and that was the deepest thing I thought for the duration of "Chaotic."

In conclusion, blow-drying my hair tonight was more compelling that either Britney or Kevin (whom I find absolutely disgusting). Is there anything else on Tuesday night now that "American Idol" is finished for the season? I will never watch "Chaotic" alone OR sober again.


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