Friday, August 03, 2007

Lord Balthazar of the Flies


When I was in eighth grade, I had an uncanny love for Balthazar Getty. I remembered seeing the picture above in an issue of Seventeen magazine, and I hated Milla Jovovich with every fiber of my being just because she was touching my Balthazar. Sure I had glasses, headgear and played in the school band, but I was so much better than Milla! How dare she pose with Balthazar, how dare she get her breast buds so close to him!

I saw Young Guns 2 twenty-five times in the theatres, each time spending my hard-earned allowance to feed my Balthazar obsession. It's bad enough to see any movie twenty-five times in the theatres, much less the fact that it was Young Guns 2. I purchased every Teen Beat, Tiger Beat, and Bop I could find if it contained Balthazar (and Jonathan Knight from the New Kids was an added bonus and another obsession. His birthday is the same day as mine almost!) My bedroom wall was literally wrapped floor to ceiling with glossy Balthazar pictures I had ripped out of my various mags, and every time his Young Guns 2 character died, a little part of me died as well.

Here's the icky thing: I actually came home from work this afternoon to find Lord of the Flies on the 24/7 Chiller channel. I actually thought, "OOOOOh! Balthazar! I love him!" Then they showed him, and he's like twelve-years-old and then I felt really creeped out. Sure, Balthazar has aged just like I've aged, he's even aged on TV, but for the first time in a very long time, I felt really old.

Here's the other thing: Kids have it so easy these days! Not only did I spend thousands of dollars on teen tabloids, but now all kids have to do is jump online, click their keyboards and print out free pictures of their crushes! It's so unfair. Kids these days will never fully appreciate the act of riding one's bike to the 7-11 to grab a Slurpee while pouring over the magazine rack.

While I appreciate all my childhood activities, I also realize my old habits die hard. My Balthazar is married and I'm still wearing glasses and playing in the band.

5 comments:

urban princess said...

I LOVED riding my purple 10 speed down to "the sev" to get a Dr. Pepper Big Gulp and every teen mag containing anything on the NKOTB. I was a Donny girl.

Balthazar has a band, you know. It's called Ringside and the CD is pretty good.

Holly said...

WHAAAAA?!?
Balty has a band?!? AND it's pretty good?

Information I did not know. I want to listen! I want to put his music on a loop as I sleep each night.

Holly said...

I downloaded it and LOVE Balthazar even more. :) Thanks for the tip.

Clever said...

Odd how the Donnie fan above doesn't even know how he spelled his name ;p

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to note that I LOVE Balty and think he's so adorable in his child years! I have no pictures of him, sadly. If you could email me some, I'd be soooo happy. My email is jordanwalker@live.com