Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Get in my pants...

After realizing that I might never pay off my credit card, despite the fact the balance isn't really that high, I decided I would take the stack of designer jeans I no longer wear to various consignment stores. Maybe I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic one too many times but, yes, now you can get in my pants.

What did you think the title of this post meant? Dirty!

In case you decide to do this yourself, I would like to pass along a few helpful jeans reselling tips. First off, Plato's Closet is the last stop for the Miley Cyrus undead. The twelve-year-olds who act like "clothing buyers" wouldn't know a designer jean if it hit them in their little, flat asses. For an establishment that passes off a Shopko brand jacket as "designer" it was a slap in the face when they tried telling me that a pair of True Religion jeans wasn't "acceptable." They offered me $8 for a pair of Seven Jeans, and because I didn't want the trip to be a total waste, I actually took it. I figure the $8 pays for the gas wasted driving too far south in the valley.

Secondly, you have to sort of forgo any love and/or claim you might have toward your clothing. I took my jeans to a second consignment store where the girl DID blow a bit of sunshine up my ass by saying, "Wow, you lost weight! These jeans are way too big for you..." and I felt a twinge of sadness when she said she would accept them all and give me half of the selling price. I felt like I was giving her a little part of me, or maybe it was more like giving a pet to the pound, either way I momentarily wondered if I should just keep the jeans in the closet and hold onto the past.

Then I realized that part of the sadness was because I think my dad might've died on a pair of the jeans I was trying to sell. I didn't mention that for fear she might not agree to give me half. For the record, I know which U2 t-shirt I was wearing when that event occurred, but I can't remember which pair of jeans I had on.

Finally, know that you will never get back what you spend on clothing, or computers, or cars. You have to resign to the harsh reality that depreciation happens. If I had back all the dough I originally spent on the jeans I just gave up, I might just have a new computer, or car, or beachfront condo.

And if you really still want to get in my pants, you can pick up a pair at Fashion Addiction on 700 East. There are also some bags of mine there too. Sadly.


Lauren said...

Not only was that well-written, but you have a clever, poetic element to your writing. I would explore that. You have a gift for writing, without a doubt. Keep at it.

I would say "Sorry about your dad," but that seems so trite and meaningless so I'm just going to leave you with a simple, "sorry."

Holly said...

Thanks for your kind words, Lauren. I am really going to make a concerted effort to write more... outside of work. You've inspired me to keep trying.

1979 semi-finalist said...

I second everything Lauren said. I've told you this before...I think you've got a great voice and you should definitely keep writing.

brandygirl000 said...

Funny...You are a talented story teller. BTW, instead of wasting your time taking the jeans to the should have posted them on facebook! I might have snagged them from you!
I have actually had quite a bit of luck clearing out my closet on KSL or Craigslist and posting the ad's are easy!
Glad you posted a link to your blog on facebook!