Advice

I stumbled across a Web site the other day, thatsnotcool.com, that teaches young folks about the pressures that technology can put on dating, i.e. texting, sending racy photos, etc. Now, I stress this site is for young folks, but maybe more adults should look at these videos too. I will now do my civic duty by presenting to you a video called "Text Monster."



While there is much talk lately on how the recession is contributing to better love lives and relationships (who wants to be poor and alone?), I believe that technology is making it more difficult to actually date in order to find the one you with whom you want to be poor and alone.

I propose that people need to practice "retro dating," you know, where the guy calls you up, asks you out and you talk rather than text.

First rule of "retro dating?" I believe that going out rather than hanging out is the best way to get to know someone. Dating is not sitting in your pajamas, sans makeup, in your cluttery, little apartment. This is hanging out, and in the beginning stages of dating, hanging out is not sexy. Going out need not be expensive either, hell, I'd be happy with a Sizzler salad bar or an evening ride on an ATV followed up by even a decent cocktail or glass of wine. The point is, you get to know someone by doing stuff, not schlepping around. There are plenty of nights to schlep when the two of you are in the throws of a recession-sparked poverty party; hanging out should not happen until you have gone out at least a few times.

Secondly, I think a new focus on creating a Mix Tape (Mix CD) would facilitate this idea of retro dating. While it might be expensive to bring your new date flowers and spend cash on a dinner, why not throw together a few of your favorite tracks to reveal a bit of yourself to your new sweetie? Granted, this could be a deal breaker when you find your new blonde, blue-eyed Adonis has a thing for a quaint combo of Cher and Young Jeezy, but there's a chance you might just get some new music out of it.

I once went out with a guy who on our first (lunch) date brought me a CD he burned of Grant Green. Knowing I was a fan of jazz music, I thought this was extremely thoughtful and I ended up discovering a new side of jazz guitar. I still have this CD, and though I'm haunted by his handwriting, I love the music. While that may sound extremely pretentious and snarky, I had encounter with a different guy and Martini Ranch. Amazing how a concept band fronted by a pre-Wierd Science Bill Paxton can still make me swoon. Still.

My point is, what have you got to lose? If your date's music really sucks, who couldn't use a new silver coaster? And if your tastes in music aren't compatible, isn't it better to find that out sooner rather than later?

Now, I don't profess to know all the particulars of dating, but I do know that I've had enough frustrating encounters with the opposite sex to offer these few helpful tips. For some reason lately, I feel the need to help humanity and what better way to give back to the planet by helping them find the sweetie I can't seem to find myself? Those who cannot do, teach, and at this point in my life I feel I have a Ph. D. in serial monogamy.