Something Highly Addictive...

Just what I need when my brain needs a break:

Have you no shame?

Can't a girl go crazy and shave her head in a hazy fit of freakiness without it showing up on eBay? For nearly sixteen-thousand dollars?

What is this world coming to?

Meantime, E!Online reports Britney Shears is wigging out. (get it?)

The newly bald Brit covered her self-shaved head this afternoon with a short blonde wig, a source tells me. My insider spotted the dethroned pop princess lounging at the pool at the Mondrian hotel with a group of “dancer-looking types.”

Spears was wearing a green cap and what looked like the dancer’s multicolored bikini top into which she infamously changed during a night of partying last weekend in NYC. “The bottom didn’t match,” my source said. “It was pinkish.”

At one point, Spears left her group and returned wearing an orange bikini. “It didn’t look so hot, and she was smoking cigarette after cigarette,” my source says. “At first, I couldn’t believe it was her—but then I heard her speak.”

Meanwhile, sources close to Spears tell me they’re worried she’s alienating everyone around her. “She’s going to have no one who cares about her,” one said. “Even her security is getting fed up. She keeps running them around town until 4:30 in the morning.”

Spears’ rep declined to comment. “There is no statement,” the rep said in an email earlier this evening. “If and when there is, you will be copied.”

Britney, Britney, Britney

I've been a little under the weather for the past couple of days. Today I slept in, and when I awoke I decided to ease into the day by reading my usual fare of pop culture/Hollywood gossip sites. When what to my wandering eyes should appear? A nervous breakdown suffered by one Britney Spears. (Read that out loud. It rhymes. I'm still funny even when I'm sick.) What is this girl thinking?

Apparently, Brits returned to California after a one-day stint in a Florida rehab clinic, headed to the first trashy barber shop and demanded they shave her head. When they refused, she told them she'd do it herself, grabbed some clippers, and went to town! She claims her hair extensions were "tight and uncomfortable" and she no longer wanted "people to touch her." At which point, she encouraged more people to touch her by walking into a neighboring tattoo parlor and getting two new tattoos.

Why, Britney, why? What will she do next? Become a musical guest on Saturday Night Live and rip up a picture of the Pope?



"Well 'Sinead O'Rebellion.'
Shock me shock me shock me with that deviant behavior."

Another photographer's shot of Britney, just after she shaved her own head:

Happy Valentine's Eve

It's Tuesday, and as I sit here watching my buddy, Ambassador Joe, on Frontline, I'm vaguely aware that tomorrow is Valentine's Day.

I've never been a big fan of the vile holiday, and since I will probably be heading to see Hannibal Rising, I am reminded to pass along to my loyal readers this little bit of potentially life-saving advice:

Don’t marry a guy that has Satan Worshippers as friends. They will just inevitably want you to birth the new Anti-Christ.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Guitar Malfunction?

This past weekend was fantastic even if I was subjected to watching the Super Bowl. Not being a fan of the sport, I settled in to drink some beer and be a part of the festivities. The commercials were mediocre at best-- a few were memorable, most were forgettable. This year, I was fairly unimpressed at the creativity of the ad spots.

Then came the halftime show.

I should begin by saying I am a huge Prince fan. I'm hoping to catch his show at The Rio in Vegas sometime soon. I love him, and I am even proud to admit that yes, I do have his rare 3-album set and yes, I DID party like it was 1999.

It is for these reasons I am totally beside myself at the various groups who are now complaining of the alleged phallic-looking guitar when Prince was shadowed behind a screen. I present, exhibit A:

Anybody (in their right mind) is going to realize this is a guitar. This could be nothing else. This is not a shape occurring in nature. This is Prince's famous guitar. Get over it, get on with it, find a hobby. From MSNBC, "A number of bloggers have decried “Malfunction!” — including Sam Anderson at New York magazine’s Daily Intelligencer. Daily News television critic David Bianculli called it 'a rude-looking shadow show' that 'looked embarrassingly rude, crude and unfortunately placed.'" Maybe, but perhaps they were wanting it to look like "a rude-looking shadow." If these folks have the idea in their head that it's going to look like Prince's "crown," it's going to look like that! These are the same people who have watched "Robin Hood, Men in Tights" too many times and they're hung up on the sword gag.

Ever since Boobgate 2004, the masses have been overly sensitive to everything. Can't we all get along? Can't we just sit back and watch a musical icon without finding something to complain about? Lest we forget Prince's early days of butt-free pants and raunchy lyrics (insert song "Sexy M-F" here). The nearly 50-year-old Prince has toned things down quite a bit since becoming a Jehovah's Witness.

It's football, that's offensive enough. Is it absolutely necessary getting all upset about something actually entertaining?

Now, about those folks who are mad over the Snickers commercials... (at the time of this post, the ad spots have been pulled from Snickerssatisfies.com but see if this Google cache works)